Left
by xtwilight18x
Summary: I whimpered and wandered into my bathroom. I knew what I had to do. Now would be the perfect time. No doubts, just action. He wasn’t coming back and Charlie would get over it. No one cares enough anymore so its not like it matters if I harm myself or die
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Another little one shot. I got bored.. Review if you read and let me know what you think…

Always and Forever!

Ashley

* * *

I sat staring at the window just waiting for his return. I haven't left this spot for two hours just hoping he would come back. Just praying he hasn't already left me. After two hours my mind has come up with an alternative. He doesn't love me. He never has, never will and he wont ever come back. The gaping hole in my chest re-opened with full blown force and I clutched my chest wrapping my arms around me as I felt ready to tear, or fall apart. My tears were falling fast. Some out of sorrow. Sorrow that he didn't love me and never would. But the others were from anger. Anger that I fell for his lies and I couldn't stop from falling completely and hopelessly in love with him.

I whimpered and wandered into my bathroom. I knew what I had to do. Now would be the perfect time. No doubts, just action. He wasn't coming back and Charlie would get over it. No one cares enough anymore so its not like it matters if I harm myself or die in the process. Nobody would care about poor little me.

I closed the door to my bathroom and pulled up my left sleeve. On my wrist were multiply cuts, scars, from the times Edward went hunting for weeks on end. He has yet to notice for I always time my actions perfectly around him.

I look around for my sewing scissors and find them in the cabinet. I rinse them off in excruciatingly hot water, just incase. I didn't want an infection even in death. I didn't plan it to go that far but if it did then so be it. Edward was all I cared about and with him not here, nothing else matters.

I positioned the scissors on my scarred wrist ready to add more. I was a centimeter away when the door was thrown open, breaking the hinges and the scissors were whipped from my hand as I was herded into my room. All this happened so fast I didn't even have time to scream although I was pretty much enable to do that for the fact that an ice cold hand was covering my mouth.

I started to flail and try to damage what was holding me when I heard my lullaby and Edward's velvet voice calming me. He was back!! I shook my head and hugged him so tight I started to hurt myself in the process. He didn't even chuckle as he used to when I reacted this way. He just pried me lose and set me on my bed, scissors still in hand. He looked anything but happy and that frightened me. It was then that I knew what he was thinking and I didn't want to have this discussion. I started to get up when Edward gave me a death glare and I plopped back down.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking??!"

"I was thinking, Edward, that no one cares about me. I thought you had left so I just wanted to, too." I looked to the floor.

"Bella, how could you think I would leave you. I love you. Do you not understand that I cant exist without you with me?"

"It's never made sense for you to love me. Its just taken this long for me to see that."

"Bella, please! You need help. Please." Edward pleaded but I would not give in. Not this time.

"I'm sorry Edward, but you weren't supposed to know about this. You weren't supposed to see this." Edward had been staring at my wrist which had been covered. I pulled up my sleeve and heard him hiss and move toward me.

"Bella, how could you do this to yourself? How could I not know…" he whispered as he bent down over my arms. Tenderly holding them.

"Edward, what did you expect? You've been gone for god knows how long and I thought you actually didn't like me anymore, love me anymore." tears started to fall again from my eyes so I turned my head so he wouldn't see them. He had other plans. He gently turned my head back to face him so I could hide nothing.

"How could you ever think that my angel? I love you more than my existence. I'm sorry I was gone so long. But the next time I leave I'll be sure to have someone else come with you so you aren't to be alone." he hugged me to him, but I didn't return the jester.

"It's not the same." I whimpered and gently pulled back from him. Backing up till I was near the door, now. " I don't want to have to be babysat Edward, I want you here, with me. But I doubt it would even matter. You can't be hunting and here with me at the same time, no matter how much you want to be. I know you must hunt, and that's not the problem. I just worry that you won't come back. How do I know for sure that you would come back? Afterall I'm just a fragile human girl." I shook my head and fell slowly to my knees as my body racked with silent tears.

"Edward, do you even understand the damage you leaving me has done? My arms are scared and there isn't anything I can do. Every moment you're not with me, I worry as dread seeps into my system. I'm afraid you've finally come to your senses and understand that I am nothing but a worthless human girl that can never, no matter how much I try, ever live up to your standards or expectations and it kills me! It kills me to know that no matter how much I'll ever love you, and how much I've told you that over and over, you would never feel the same way. Here I am on the ground, crying my eyes out as you stand there in all your glory and perfection and it kills me Edward! It kills me to know that no matter how hard I try, you and I could never be…" I stumbled to my feet and ran to the bathroom to get an accessory. I didn't even bother locking the door as I got my scissors from my medicine cabinet and went to attacking my arm. Blood seeped everywhere, for I was using more force that I normally use because of my angrier state of mind.

The second blood started spilling the scissors disappeared. I didn't even notice because instead I was using my nails. Not as much blood fell but the scars it would leave was evidently so. I slowly sank down by the tub as the usual dizziness washed over me. I felt unstable but I couldn't stop. I only stopped as Edward forcibly held my hands down and started wrapping my arms up.

I couldn't move. This was worse than its ever been before. The bleeding wouldn't stop. It was getting harder to breathe. Edward kept wrapping, oblivious to my discomfort.

"Edward…" my whisper was barely audible to my own ears because of my lack of breath.

"It's alright Bella. This is the last time this will ever happen. You will never be in this much pain again." he was still wrapping and didn't once look up to talk to my face. He was unaware that I was dying. Dying right her in front of him. Apparently this was hard on him as well as on me. My vision blurred and I saw a black haze.

"I…can't…breathe Edward."

Finally he looked up and studied my pained expression. His expression turned to horror as he listened to my slowing pulse. He gently but quickly lifted me into his arms and rushed me out my window without a second glance. I closed my eyes very slowly.

I was dying and it was all my fault. If I hadn't been angry this wouldn't have happened and now I'll never get to apologize to Edward for my selfishness. I couldn't even found the strength to open my mouth and protest as Edward had Carlisle look me over. He wouldn't be able to save me this time. I wanted to tell Edward that I loved him. But all I could manage as I took in my sure to be last breath of his intoxicating scent, was

"Goodbye…"

* * *

What'd you think??

3 Ashley


	2. Chapter 2

Edwards Point of View:

* * *

I heard Bella's faint voice and I went into a frenzy. _"Goodbye."_

"Carlisle! Help her, I can barely hear her heartbeat!" I was so worried. I couldn't lose my angel. I had to save her.

"Edward, there's only one way to save her." he intently stared at me, not saying anything but I heard it loud and clear. I threw the lamp into the wall and let out an enraged scream.

"NO!! I can not damn her to this life! I won't!!! There has to be another way to save her." her heart rate was exaggeratingly slow.

"Edward, we have to change her, if not she will die."

"Carlisle, I-I can't change her. There must be another way. Another choice…"

"Edward, get over your damn selfishness and change Bella before I come in there and change her myself!!" Alice screamed and barged through my bedroom door.

"Alice, I-"

"No Edward, now's the time to act. Bella is lying there, DYING, and your to damn selfish to change her after over and over again she has told you that this is her desire. That is what she wants most on the world but you still have doubts. She loves you so much. Do you not understand that? She wants to spend eternity with you, why I do not understand but she does and I'm not going to let her lie there and die while I can prevent it."

Alice surged forward as Bella's heart beat slowed considerably so that it beat every other second. She couldn't hold on much longer,

"Alice, don't!!" but it was to late. Alice had already sank her teeth into Bella's throat. I stood frozen in shock as Alice, slowly and deliberately pulled back with Bella's blood coating her lips. We all turned to Bella, who started weakly thrashing under the covers.

"Edward!" she yelled in her weakened state making it only out as a whisper. "Edward, it burns!" she whimpered.

"I know honey, I know, please calm down." I gently stroked her hair and sang her lullaby. "Alice, how could you?" I didn't yell for fear of frightening Bella, but I gave her the most heated glare I could manage.

"Edward, you can't tell me you wont be happy. Even if you won't she will be and our family won't crumble again." Bella whimpered but talked through the pain.

"Edward, I- I want this… the pain isn't that much. I can handle it, Alice- is right… I love you so much. I- I wasn't… wasn't ready to die." she breathed in and out deeply, taking in my scent.

"Bella, sshh don't worry about it now. Just try to get some sleep honey. It's going to be a long three days sweetie." I stared pointedly at Alice. She was just smiling down at Bella, who in turn smiled back, as best she could.

"Yes, it'll be long- but- it will- be worth it. I love- you…Edward." Bella, sighed as I kissed her tenderly and then she feel into a restless sleep.

'At least she wont feel pain while she dreams.' I thought, kissing her forehead lightly. She's right. It'll be a long three days, but it'll be worth it. I smiled down at my angel as Carlisle and Alice left me alone with my love, my life, my soul…

Authors Note:

This is the end. Normally this was only supposed to be a one-shot. I was going to stop it but I had a few people who want it continued so I did. Review and check out my other stories. Don't forget to review anything you read!

Lots Of Love

Ashley


End file.
